Been Thinking.

Upon graduating, millions of former students are faced with the awkward task of pruning the facebook friend list.  Do you just keep them all?  I mean, some people do that.  They friend and friend and friend everyone they meet.  Gym class in high school?  Friend!  Camp counselor?  Friend!  Sat next to her on a bus to Boston?  Friend!  Met at your brother’s grad party when you were forced on the same horseshoe team?  Friend!

But this is not my style.  I like to maintain at least a little privacy in my life and therefore, I friend with caution.  And as lives change and networks change and interactions increase and dwindle, friend pruning is a logical next step.  So when is it appropriate to delete friends?  I think what makes this uncomfortable is the fact that facebook has blurred the definition of “friend.”  It’s unclear how much committment is required in a facebook friendship.  And heaven forbid a facebook friend has you higher on their virtual friend ladder than they are on yours.  Then unfriending gets messy.

Perhaps the virtual social networks need to discuss etiquette for maintaing a tidy friend list.  There should be an obligatory time period, maybe six months, that you remain friends with a person.  If there is no contact made in those six months, it’s socially acceptable to remove them friend your friend list.  If that person realizes you unfriended them, they can request you again (without taking any offense-because there was no contact) and make more of an effort this time to remain active in your online life.

But for now it remains an tricky chore, one that can cause rifts in your vitual friend world.  So proceed with caution.  And just keep in mind that if a person is severly offended by the process of unfriending, he or she is more likely to leave you alone in real life.  Problem solved on both fronts.  Happy unfriending.

What do you do when faced with the unfriending dilemma?